On 28 September 2017, two police officers showed up at my weekly Concord Hospital market stall and told me that someone had filed a report about my Down Syndrome child being with me at work.

This was not the first time some anonymous member of the public had lodged a complaint about Noah’s presence at my stall; two years previously, I hit the news when another anonymous campaigner launched a petition to remove him from another market where I had operated for 14 years. I subsequently quit that stall, which leaves me with Concord Hospital Market as the one last remaining weekly event where I earn an income from selling Malaysian food.

At Concord Hospital, around this time last year, a woman came up and yelled at me for “child abuse” and said that she was going to report me to the authorities. I filmed our interaction and ended up being invited on television to talk about it.

Every time I post about this on social media, the average person is perplexed about what the problem is. What’s wrong with a child staying with his mom at work? Why do people get so worked up about it? On what basis would they be lodging their complaint? Some people probably assume I’m doing something wrong to get this kind of attention.

In fact when the story came out on the front page of The Daily Mail 2 years ago, some of the commenters suggested this was a publicity stunt by me looking for my 15 minutes of fame. Others are indignant that I would think I’m entitled to bring my kid to work when they don’t have that privilege (this one always stumps me because it’s so obvious – the difference between my situation and theirs is that I’m my own boss).

The fact is, efforts to thwart my integration of my child with my business have been taking place in more subtle forms since way before these incidents. I understand from my fellow stallholders that people gripe to them about Noah’s presence at the markets. They wonder why I’m not home looking after him or why he’s not in childcare. As if he’s better off with strangers for 8 hours than with his mom in an environment he absolutely loves.

Except for the one woman last year who yelled at me, nobody has had the wherewithal to confront me directly.

Throughout all these years, I’ve tried to address this issue with some level of restraint and diplomacy. I’ve tried to assume these people’s motives are pure but misguided. I’ve suggested it’s probably a cultural issue; that some Westerners find the idea of kids in a work environment to be offensive and an example of poor parenting. I’ve figured in their lack of understanding of my child’s disability, they assume he’s not getting the stimulation he needs to thrive.

My frustration stems from these people’s refusal to engage me respectfully to find out my story. They hide behind a wall of anonymity so I never really know the real motivations behind their actions. I decided to provoke a conversation, so I put up this sign the following week at my stall. Halfway through the day, I was told by the market organisers to pull down the sign based on a complaint by someone at the hospital.

That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I’m done with diplomacy and I’m done with being a sitting duck for malicious anonymous campaigners.

When I quit my other market stall 2 years ago, one person who had experienced disability discrimination in her own life posted on my Facebook page. She begged me to stay and fight. She said that I have a voice and that I need to use it to speak out for those who don’t. She’s right. This website may be about my baby Noah and our story, but I hope it helps other people out there who are or will be facing these kinds of obstacles in their own lives.

Let’s do this.

Sign the petition >> https://www.change.org/p/concord-hospital-support-baby-noah-s-right-to-stay-with-jackie-m-at-the-markets

The post Enough Is Enough first appeared on Jackie M..

How time flies. I just realised it’s been over a year since the debacle at OGM that saw an anonymous member of the public petition to have my Down Syndrome baby, Noah, removed from the market. **

The OGM employee who gave me the heads-up about the petition said at the time it was a “duty of care” matter. In other words, this person meant well and they thought I was a bad mother.

I wrote about it at the time – http://jackiem.com.au/2015/07/17/why-im-quitting/ .

Look, rarely a week goes by where I don’t get trolled about my looks, make-up, accent, recipes, whatever – I generally give as good as I get because I believe in holding people accountable for their words, but these kinds of comments really aren’t the sort that keep me up at night.

What REALLY gets at me is when my parenting skills are called into question. It happened last year at OGM and it happened again today, at my one last remaining weekly event, ie. Concord Hospital Market.

A woman (NOT a member of the Concord Hospital staff but an outsider there for the day) came up to me while I was cooking, accused me of child neglect and said she was going to lodge a complaint against me for child abuse.

Meanwhile, Noah was happily in his own little world in his cot which was directly in front of my stall, with Becky keeping an eye on him from her side of the tent.

I pulled out my camera and started recording –

I received an email from the hospital’s Director of Marketing this evening to say she heard about what happened, confirmed this woman is not hospital staff and reiterated that the majority of the Concord Hospital community supports Noah’s presence at the market.

I’m tired so I’m copy-pasting part of my reply to her here –

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I’m always prepared to engage people on the issue but it’s disappointing when they choose to rush to judgement and use threats right off the bat.

Noah is attended weekly by 3 different therapists (not to mention a whole, disparate team of doctors at Westmead) and I’m very closely involved in his development so I have no doubt I know what’s best for him.

I actually have one more staff member than is required so that the fourth person’s main role is as his babysitter, taking him out for walks etc. He ends up coming back into the stall to help the rest of us out because Noah simply prefers to sit in his cot and watch the world from there.

Noah mostly refuses walks and if he does take them he wants to go back to his cot within a couple of minutes, where he’s happy to drift off into his own world again. He also rejects all toys which he quickly throws out of his cot. I can see how that’s perceived as an unstimulating environment but that’s exactly what he dictates makes him happiest.

The lady came back at the end of the day to apologize but continued to twist my words re: his lack of desire for overstimulation to indicate I don’t know what’s best for my child, so that wasn’t helpful in bringing down my blood pressure and I apologize for my aggravated verbal response, for which I blame/credit my Hakka genes.

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Noah spent the first 217 days of his life in hospital. I was called in 3 times in the middle of the night to prepare for his death. I fought the doctors to keep him alive. I gave up my restaurant to look after him. I was pushed or coerced out of most of my markets so that I now do just one cashflow-positive event a week.

In an ideal world, I wouldn’t need to work. In an ideal world, Noah would get my full and undivided attention 24×7. As it stands, like most people, I’m damaged and incomplete and just doing my best under the circumstances.

To insinuate in any way that I’m selfish and negligent in how I raise my child is probably the most offensive thing you could say to me. And for those who say this person meant well, it’s really like saying Hitler had some good ideas. Just quit it.

**The story that made headlines last year –

• Chef and mum quits Orange Grove Markets after complaints about her Down Syndrome son –http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/nsw/chef-and-mum-quits-orange-grove-markets-after-complaints-about-her-down-syndrome-son/story-fni0cx12-1227448360986
• When the urge to protect a child is really a judgement – http://www.dailylife.com.au/news-and-views/news-features/when-the-urge-to-protect-a-child-is-really-a-judgement-20150723-gii59z
• Mother quits market stall after complaints about Down Syndrome son – http://www.sbs.com.au/news/article/2015/07/18/mother-quits-market-stall-after-complaints-about-son-down-syndrome
• “The stall was his favourite day of the week” – http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3166756/The-stall-favourite-day-week-Single-mum-devastated-forced-close-market-stall-people-complained-s-syndrome-son-takes-work-her.html
• (And one for the German speakers) – http://www.huffingtonpost.de/2015/07/20/mutter-kind-down-syndrom_n_7830520.html

The post Déjà Vu All Over Again – Baby Noah Markets Controversy first appeared on Jackie M..